The key to finding a competent divorce coach is researching your coach’s background – What are their expertise what do they specialise in. Whether it’s law, finance or counselling - and deciding if it will lend itself to helping you navigate your divorce. Some divorce coaches only have experience of being divorced themselves.
Now do not underestimate how beneficial this is as they can empathise with your situation. However as a qualified psychotherapist and Coach and coming initially from a Financial background, I can offer a lot more than just my personal experience of divorce.
So here is what I can help you with:
Many people use divorce coaches to minimize talking to their solicitor. Each time you send your lawyer an email it costs you money then it costs money for them to read it, speaking on the phone is even more costly. However you do need someone to vent to, to have a safe place to share your inner turmoil and to understand you have choices. I will not be advising you what to do, we will be exploring what is right for you to do. The bill will be a lot less and a lot more emotionally valuable, compared to a solicitor who is going to bill you a lot more.
Solicitors recognise how valuable a divorce coach is and I work very closely with several solicitors, as they understand the divorce coach will help the client manage their emotions, to then come to a rational decision from the advice their solicitor is giving them.
Some people rely on family and friends to guide them through their divorce. Well, let me tell you they are great….. but as a family member or as a friend, not as an expert to help and support you through your divorce. I notice, women especially, enter into the divorce process very confused and scared. Men often enter initially angry and aggrieved. These are often very strong empowered women who are entering uncharted territory. The space I offer is, all about creating a safe, supportive, non-judgemental and patient environment. Family and friends will have their own opinions of what you and your ex should and should not do. I help you identify you are the expert of your world not Aunty Flo!
“A divorce coach can really help someone define and redefine their goals and let you peel the onion layers and get to what really matters,” says one of my clients.
But be aware that coaching does cost but it is a lot less than solicitors fees, my costs are £50 per hour a solicitor’s range from £150 to £250 plus per hour.
You will have to consider Family Mediation if you want the court to make a decision about your finances and children. This can cost around £85 per hour. This process is to work with both of you together and although beneficial, it does not solely have your best interest at heart, as it is there to identify what is best for you and your ex. I am here to identify what is right for you.
The most important thing to recognise in engaging with a divorce coach is yes, it will cost you money but in the long term it will save you money. If you enter into a contested divorce, then you are entering into a very costly and time consuming process. You may have to engage a barrister which can cost anything from £2500 per day to £5000 per day. Ultimately if you cannot reach a decision by the third hearing which can span over 1 to 2 years the judge will decide what happens. Yes, a complete stranger will share out and distribute between you and you ex everything you have accumulated of the life of your marriage. You lose control.
So, in summary a divorce coach will cost, but in the long term save you an awful lot of money and pain and help you gain clarity at a very confusing and distressing time.
I will work with you to help you gain clarity on your choices and help you recognise that you can have control of your emotions, finances and your divorce. I will take you from pain to power in a very short space of time.