I feel like my voice has been shut down!!


We are all very aware of Covid19, and read with intent daily about it and see the suffering going in in the world.

However I just wanted to acknowledge, others who are still suffering but in a different way.

A lot of women and men are in abusive relationships and being confined to the house in these circumstances at the moment, can potentially be very hard and sometimes dangerous.

Anxiety feeds off uncertainty and currently all of our lives are full of anxiety.

Codependency is a behavioural condition in a relationship where one person enables another person’s addiction, poor mental health, immaturity, irresponsibility, or under-achievement.

Codependency is characterised by a person belonging to a dysfunctional, one-sided relationship where one person relies on the other for meeting nearly all of their emotional and self-esteem needs. It also describes a relationship that enables another person to maintain their irresponsible, addictive, or underachieving behavior.

Often these people can feel like you aren’t heard feel like they aren’t valued. If their contact with the outside world is shrunk even more, then this can feel even more isolating for them.

I had a video session with a client earlier today who said “I feel like I am being eaten from the inside out”.  Her analogy of how difficult her life feels at the moment.

People with low self-worth see others as better or more deserving than themselves. Instead of carrying this perception, see yourself as being equal to everyone. They are no better or more deserving than you.

“Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are” Marilyn Monroe

Make a mental shift to an equality mentality and you will automatically see an improvement in your self-worth. Among the core characteristics of codependency is an excessive reliance on other people for approval and a sense of identity. This is damaging, as you become more and more isolated, people family friends all start to disappear and your world starts to shrink.

“ No one can make you feel inferior without your consent” Eleanor Roosevelt

Is this something you are currently experiencing in your relationship or are you aware of a family friend or work colleague in this situation. Reach out don’t be on your own, there are people out there who care about you and will help if you let them in.

If this is someone you recognise try and reach out in these difficult times, just a small gesture can often mean a lot to someone who is feeling isolated.




Article by Diane Pulley

Diane Pulley is a BACP accredited and UKRC psychotherapist and Life Coach having graduated from Warwick university. She has worked in private practise for many years with clients presenting various issues, from trauma, depression, anxiety and self confidence. Diane works with both individuals and couples. Her experience has lead her to work with corporate clients delivering stress management training for both staff and management. Aspire You has been born from a personal journey, of Diane's own marriage breaking down after 28 years, when she identified there is a need to support women through this process and help them rebuild their lives. "everyone has the potential to lead fulfilling lives and i am committed to helping individuals achieve that desire"