Breaking the cycle of needing a man in our lives!


We have to break the cycle many women have of ‘needing’ a man in their lives to ‘save’ them.

When it is often traced back, it is the abandoned little girl who never felt loved or accepted, wanted or enough.

We as children are unable to deal with these emotions, we don’t understand why we become carers or why we become “naughty children”. We don not choose that role we adapt that role in order to fit into our family and to ensure our needs are met..
We need to learn to develop a deep love for ourselves, so that we can then identify that we will be fine, without needing a man in our lives. When we are internally broken, we will in turn attract broken partners.

We have to want the same out of life as our life partner. What often happens is we dont make sure that a man has the same life goals, ambition, values or is heading in the same direction.
Making decisions where we are giving away our power and coming from a fear based place will not lead to happiness or long term stability.
When we are looking outside of ourselves for validation, needing to be rescued and searching for direction, it is a dangerous way to be living. This is when we will be taken in the direction often on a path that is not right for us.
Taking time to get to know someone’s character is essential, when making big life decisions. Sometimes in life, we grow, we expand, we change, we evolve, this can then mean we grow out of the relationship. We need to leave the relationship that is no longer flourishing and take time to go in search of new relationships.
When we take time to be in love with ourselves and enjoying our own company and being at one with our internal dialogue, we are then able to enter into a fulfilling and rewarding relationship with another human being.

Until then we will struggle to connect with the right person as we are unsure of who we ourselves .
If this resonates for you then please don’t struggle on your own we are here to help you.

Article by Diane Pulley

Diane Pulley is a BACP accredited and UKRC psychotherapist and Life Coach having graduated from Warwick university. She has worked in private practise for many years with clients presenting various issues, from trauma, depression, anxiety and self confidence. Diane works with both individuals and couples. Her experience has lead her to work with corporate clients delivering stress management training for both staff and management. Aspire You has been born from a personal journey, of Diane's own marriage breaking down after 28 years, when she identified there is a need to support women through this process and help them rebuild their lives. "everyone has the potential to lead fulfilling lives and i am committed to helping individuals achieve that desire"