Are you married to a Sociopath?


What is a sociopath, you may be wondering?

Sociopaths are “people with a personality disorder manifesting itself in extreme antisocial attitudes and behaviour”. They aren’t just rapists or serial killers you see on televisions. They can be more than that and are all around you, disguised as your family members, friends, colleagues, and even someone you consider your soul mate.

I was married to a sociopath I know what it is like to live with one. All you have to do is catch a glimpse of them under the mask on their faces. The hardest part is to distinguish them because they hide under the façade of being well groomed, mannered, charming and oh-so loving. It is a complex personality disorder hand in hand with compulsive lying and manipulation.

Being in love with a sociopath is never going to end well. It is going to control your life and your whole being revolves around this man.

The sad things is you don’t recognise this in the early days or even years.

In the beginning you are the most important thing in their world you are the universe to them. You will tell people no one will ever love me like they do. However, this behaviour is not love, it is control and a need for them to feed their ego.

You feel exhausted, all of your day and night revolves around making sure their needs are met and when there needs are not met it is your fault.

You will never please a sociopath as they don’t know true happiness. They are always striving for more, bigger, better and you end up feeling like you are the problem if you don’t meet their needs it is your fault.

You lose your confidence, your self worth and respect.

Then they have the control over you they set out to achieve. You feel scared to leave them as will you be enough? What will they do? How will you manage on your own? They can be very unpredictable.

However when out of the relationship and looking at it as a fly on the wall you come to recognise they are very predictable.

So don’t give your power away, do not buy into their false sense of reality make the break as hard as it may be it will be a far happier life, however that may be without a sociopath than with one.

Article by Diane Pulley

Diane Pulley is a BACP accredited and UKRC psychotherapist and Life Coach having graduated from Warwick university. She has worked in private practise for many years with clients presenting various issues, from trauma, depression, anxiety and self confidence. Diane works with both individuals and couples. Her experience has lead her to work with corporate clients delivering stress management training for both staff and management. Aspire You has been born from a personal journey, of Diane's own marriage breaking down after 28 years, when she identified there is a need to support women through this process and help them rebuild their lives. "everyone has the potential to lead fulfilling lives and i am committed to helping individuals achieve that desire"