Your Triangle


So, what is the triangle and which way up is yours?

We are taught by parents and significant others to take care of other people to look after our siblings to be kind to animals, to be a good partner, to look after our grandparents when they are getting old……. and the list goes on.
Well this is wonderful, admirable and very respectful, but also exhausting.
However, where in all of that are we ever told let alone taught how to take care of ourselves?
I know I was not, my school didn’t have a lesson on self-care and my parents did not sit me down and say “In order to survive in this world, you have to make time for you”.
I was taught as are many of my clients:
It is selfish to put yourself first
The word selfish needs to be converted to selfless as when we learn to take care of ourselves we then in turn can take care of others, if we don’t take care of us then we reach a position that we are unable to take care of others, as we become depleted.
So, when your triangle is upside down you care for everybody else then a small amount of time for your relationship, then your right down at the bottom, the tiny point in the triangle.
When you turn your triangle the other way around, you are the most important person, then your relationship, then in turn children family friends, and work. If you take care of you, you have the capacity and energy to be fully committed to a relationship. If your relationship is functioning you have time energy and motivation for children, family, friends and work.
This may seem very alien to most, as it was to me, however turning your triangle upside down is life changing and the rewards are astounding.
5 tips to turn your triangle the other way around:
Take a soak in the bath
Arrange a date night for you and your partner
Go for a walk and take in your surroundings
Arrange a coffee with friends
Listen to some music

Article by Diane Pulley

Diane Pulley is a BACP accredited and UKRC psychotherapist and Life Coach having graduated from Warwick university. She has worked in private practise for many years with clients presenting various issues, from trauma, depression, anxiety and self confidence. Diane works with both individuals and couples. Her experience has lead her to work with corporate clients delivering stress management training for both staff and management. Aspire You has been born from a personal journey, of Diane's own marriage breaking down after 28 years, when she identified there is a need to support women through this process and help them rebuild their lives. "everyone has the potential to lead fulfilling lives and i am committed to helping individuals achieve that desire"